k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
