you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
