Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
