You're completely useless in the revolution.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
