I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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