What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
His nipple licking is glorious
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