dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
