Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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