Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
