wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize