My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
