my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize