Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Randomize
