Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
