Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
