I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
