Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
