Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
