their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize