I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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