If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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