Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
