you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
