We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
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Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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