It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
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