So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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