I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
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