i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
