Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
