Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He passed out mid-signature
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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