So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
