I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
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If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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