Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
