I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
