I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
