Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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