champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
