i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
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Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Drake has all the answers
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize