Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Randomize
