Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
