Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
