Only a mothe r could love this liver
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
