This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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