Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
