bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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