Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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