I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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