$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize