I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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