Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
