I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
