i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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