you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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