Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
