I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
