You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
