he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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