Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
