i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
