sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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