fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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