Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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