My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
